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Sunday, February 14, 2010

Just prayin' to a God that I don't believe in.

I don’t know what I’m going to say here, but I feel it’s been too long since I’ve last written something. So, here it goes.

Life is good and bad at the moment, I can confidently say it’s pretty fifty fifty. My Hitler bangs are growing out nicely, I have two whole weeks off for ‘Olympic Break’, my skin has cleared up now that exams are over and I’m hyped for concerts every night for the next week. Oh man do I ever have a runny nose, and every time I blow my nose.. wow actually I’m going to stop there, cause that would just be too much information.

Curling provincials were amazing. Well, we came in last (we weren’t expecting miracles) but we had such a blast. We’re the 8th female team in the province and the first independent school to ever make it that far, which would make up the number one private school curling team. I love my friends so much. We’re all so close now, I love it.

So on Friday everyone was getting asked to grad in super cute ways. The boy I want to go with, I’ve had to ask TWICE. Bad enough I had to ASK a boy to come to grad with me, but I’ve been delayed twice. So here’s the deal. This boy needs to smarten up and say “Hey Jess, I’ll go to grad with you” and sweep me off my feet before some random guy in my grade walks up to me and goes “Hey Jessica, let’s go to grad together cause… yeah, sounds like a good idea to me” And then I’ll be stuck with someone who’s no fun and not a foot taller than me. I mean what do I say in response? “Sorry ‘whoever you are’ I’m waiting for someone I fancy to say yes” On a side note, I need a new IHome with a clicker to change the song cause I keep getting up and getting distracted. I also need a back massage. Back on topic. This has not gone the way I would have hoped. I mean growing up you imagine a boy asking you to grad in a cute creative way and you say yes and then you both go to grad and you look cute and your parents take pictures and blabla you look like a princess blabla. Oh like Laguna Beach, oh man that episode was good. This isn’t the way I’ve had it planned since I was 8. Speaking of that, I found drawings I drew in grade 3 of my dream grad/ grad dress and wedding. A whole little notebook full. Silly silly 8 year old Jessica, little did she know she’d have to ask a boy THREE times if he’d simply escort her to her grad. All my life I’ve been thinking of my grad dress, and now when the time has come to go shopping for one I’m not as motivated. Maybe because I’m tired of being the only one excited for it. My favorite teacher (Socials 11, Law 12) asked me if I had a date yet for grade for when I walk down the stage in front of everyone and their parents, I said no and he said that he’d walk down with me if all else fails. WOW.

You know what I hate? People who invite themselves places. How do you un-invite them? Currently trying to figure that out. My father ordered pizza at 12:34. I’d like to know what pizza place is open at this time. Oh, he just came home with Panago.  I just ate 4 slices of pizza, I’ll be a size 0 in dresses in no time, maybe even a size 2 if I’m lucky. Will pizza make my bones grow? Let’s hope so.

I’m exhausted, bloated and unmotivated.

Mirrors don’t do her justice. The lies linger upon her lips, the broken promises written along her arms.  Free spirited and with a fragile heart she off to explore the world. With every step the words fade, and with each kiss, the lies disappear. She’s finding her way home.

I’m off to bed, to play under the purple sky.

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