i've spent most of my time indoors. i miss the sun, i miss smiling. i've been working full time, trying to save money for school. also for paris this coming nye. a week in france, my god. i hope my mother lets me go, i'll be 18. i don't feel social, i only really open my mouth to sing or hum. or say "would you like me to..?" "yeah i'll get right on that" "yes of course". i'm loving it. i want school to start, right now. i'm not valued. i want to become something, someone. i need school. i need to start taking better care of myself. i'm depressed, but i'm not allowed to be.
green fill my head, haze my eyes. miss you. hate you. need you.