Not a day goes by where this hasn't crossed my mind

Another day passes. I wish I had close girl friends my own age. You know, friends you can grow up with and make mistakes with, not friends who have already been through it all and tell you what's going to happen next. My life is no longer an adventure. Maybe this Saturday will change things a little; maybe something spontaneous will happen to me. I love my best friends, I just wish they were girls sometimes, Wait, was that weird? I mean if you’re reading this you’re amazing! It’s just, it’s not like I can talk to you about boys and cramps and how small my boobs look in bikinis. Even though I already do and I'm terribly sorry for putting you through that. It’s just, it’s not like we can have sleepovers and you can straighten the back of my hair for me. You know? You can’t be my maid of honor at my wedding. Wait, is that thinking too much into the future? Yeah probably.

Keara, I feel as though we’ve grown apart and it saddens me. I miss you and we never see each other anymore. I know I’m a little different, but I mean so are you. We’ve really grown and changed over the years. Perhaps for the better? I miss the old days, jumping in the snow, cutting our hair in the bathroom, the friendship necklaces. It makes me tear up a little just thinking about it. It’s kind of funny, growing up we never thought we would end up the way we are. You the level headed, funny, smart girl and me the crazy, dumb girl who grew up too fast. Sometimes I guess I don’t know if you’re still there if I were to call and say hi. You’re life is so wonderful and busy, full of new and positive experiences to go through. I envy that, I really do. But you deserve to live life to the fullest. You deserve to have the best life ever. You get to act 16, you’re so lucky. I guess what I’m trying to say is I miss you and I want us to hang out more. I need you in my life, to slow me down from growing up too fast, to keep me grounded. No one gets me quite like you do. I screw up over and over again but you’re still there, shaking your head most times, but you don’t judge me. I doubt you’ll read this, ever. But if you are reading this, you’ve always been a sister to me and things don’t feel right when you disappear from my life. I miss my twin.

I just kinda had to get that out. Well I better go to sleep, I’ve had the longest, most dramatic day at work and I just need some time to myself. Goodnight world!