Thursday, May 27, 2010

i am to write a personal composition about the outcome of drunk driving. it's 
all we talk about at school these days. i didn't go to school. i got 4/5 on my
LET and i've already been accepted to Langara so there really is no point in 
me busting my ass. nothing has changed, nothing is steady in my life. i'm home
alone bored, folding laundry and eating cheese. i disgust myself sometimes. i
was contemplating deleting my blog and starting over. i was reading some of 
the things i've written and wow. childish. get over yourself. please. i've ripped 
off my nails, i've ripped out my hair, i'm starting fresh. i need structure, 
organization and i'll start with this blog.

quit adding salt to my eyes, i'm bloodshot. i'm tired. i'm finding it hard to see. 
your silence haunts me, your absence makes me ill. blank staring waiting for 
shapes to shift. i shouldn't expect so much. my thoughts constantly scattered. 
i expect very little from you. i'm learning. i crave the sunlight on my thighs. the 
taste of half baked ben and jerrys ice cream. i miss the green that'd rush to my 
head, that'd sit behind my eyes. giggling away as the cancer soothed me and 
dried my tears. oh bare, perspiring body wrapped in silk, ice cubes melting 
down my neck. i miss your hair in my hands. your blue devours me. i hardly 
know you, you barely know me. it's taking a while. many games are repetitive, 
i've never been one to play. i'm too old for games. lets try something new.
i'm nothing but a shadow, holding your shadows hand. i don't exist.
to be invisible is to be comfortable, surprise me.

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